Archive for July, 2015

I first learned about bell curves when I was in university. One of my professors told me that out of 10 people who scored A in his class, five will have to be ‘downgraded’ to A- so as to fit the bell curve. He was a professor of literature and not statistics. He felt that it was unfair for the students to be ‘graded’ based on the bell curve ‘requirement’. But the university can’t have too many people on one extreme end of the spectrum, especially not in the literature class where everything is debatable and subjective.  Apparently, 10 A was too big a number in a class of 35 students. I was ‘lucky’ because he ‘chose’ me to still be in the “A-list”. But luck shouldn’t determine your grade, nor should some distribution theory.

Today, as I put on my employee hat and studied the KPIs given by my superior, the bell curve horror struck again. As explained by the boss, this was a cascaded down KPI. So my KPI is pretty much similar to everybody in the team and even the boss except that the figures are different.

Being a senior member of the team, my figures are somewhat higher than most. My biggest issue in comprehending the KPI setting is that everyone in the team plays different roles in different projects. So how on earth can we ‘share’ similar KPI. She’s a creative designer while I am a writer. She works on project A and I’m in both projects, A and T. Project A has 6 brochures to be developed, while project T has 15. How can a designer who works on a project to develop six brochures have the KPI of “developing creative content: BASE – 10, STRETCH – 15” and I, a writer who works on two projects with a total number of 21 brochures to work on have similar KPI but a different figure: BASE – 25, STRETCH 30.

I am still scratching my head figuring out how to meet the base. When I asked my superior about this, his answer was, “Well, sometimes you meet your KPI, sometimes you don’t. And we can’t place everyone at the highest rank or the lowest rank. We gotta keep the curve in bell shape.”

Seriously, that did not even answer my question. I think the management need to go for KPI setting training. One obvious fact is that if you own 3 pens, you can’t multiply the number unless you buy more pens or borrow them from your mates. If you are asked to work on 21 brochures, the number won’t grow unless you add more request/project to it. Am I making any sense here? Perhaps, I am confused after all.


Monday Muse

Posted: July 27, 2015 in muse, rant
Tags: , , , ,

I wonder how could a person who loved you so much now loves you less, if there’s still love at all.

Your jokes are no longer funny.
Your tears matter not anymore.

I guess that’s the thing about love. There’s nothing certain about it.

I can say that at this moment, alhamdulillah, I’m comfortable with my life. A good paying job in one of the biggest conglomerates, a hobby that has turned into a part-time job, still have my parents around, great siblings, great friends. Alhamdulillah.

However, of late, I’m getting more and more pressured by my work environment. I have a boss that I dislike the way s/he (not going to reveal the gender) manages the team. S/he seldom speaks to you directly and always asks one of her/his ‘trusted allies’ to ask us questions or make requests for certain things. One of the things that really ticks me off is her/his decision to demote a senior member of the team who was leading a smaller unit and promoted her/his ‘trusted ally’. It was done without proper distribution of information. The senior team member didn’t even know about this until an email was sent to the whole team announcing a new structure. No prior notice, he wasn’t given any explanation nor any chance to explain himself should the fault lies in his court. Everyone else was as shocked as he was. I, for one, was as frustrated as he was, or at least, my disappointment was big enough to push me to contemplate a green pasture elsewhere.

  •                                                      Image borrowed from:

I’m tired of being negative at work and I am also tired of being positive and trying to justify everything that the boss do just to console my broken heart. A friend told me not to invest too much emotionally in my job. I find it hard to do because I am very passionate about my work.

At this stage of life, if I’m looking for a job, I’m looking for a more meaningful one. The one that can satisfy both my pocket and more importantly my soul. Let’s face it, I have commitments too, hence money is important, not going to deny that. I’m already in my 30s, I want something that soothes my soul; something that makes me want to get up every morning happily and go to work at my highest energy level and being ever positive going about my daily routine. The question now is, where would I find such job? Any recommendations?

Critique and criticism can come in many forms. From the biggest critics to the most insignificant persons (most of the time, you don’t even know the existence of this person) on social media.

Not all criticism are negative and bad for you. Sometimes, you can even learn from it (so long as the critique is not a personal attack and of course not articulated by a person who has no idea what’s the real issue is about).

This morning, as I was getting ready for work, my two nephews knocked on my room door. They wanted to come in and checked why I was not yet at work. I usually would have left the house before they arrived. I let them in and continued combing my hair. MJ, the bigger boy, asked, “Cik Loy tak kerja ke hari ni?” (Aren’t you working today?). I told him that I was getting ready for work. He looked puzzled so I asked him, “Kenapa?” (What’s wrong?). And then came the most unsuspecting critique ever:

“Kenapa Cik Loy pakai baju sukan? Hari ni hari sukan ke?”
(Why are you wearing sports attire? Is it Sports Day?)

I was speechless for a moment. I wasn’t at all expecting this. I was wearing my grey slack and blue shirt – my normal office attire. #sakitnyatudisini

I wore something like this. Not tucked-in though. And probably no cute face put on. Image borrowed from:

I wore something like this. Not tucked-in though. And probably no cute face put on, nor slender figure.
Image borrowed from: