Archive for the ‘2cent’ Category

I was in the kitchen two nights ago. Alone. Cleaning up. My parents were at the hospital visiting a family friend. I had this question in my head – what would be the advice that I’d give to my  younger self.

I’m in my early 30s this year. So, the advice I was thinking of was for my 20 year-old self. The advice I’d give – “Be less angry and be less impulsive when you’re angry”. I was a quick-tempered person. The nature of people like me is that we tend to be upset and angry really fast and we’d cool down even faster. And when we’ve cooled down, we’d regret being angry in the first place. Alhamdulillah, I’ve not done any real physical damage to anyone but I might have hurt many feelings with my temper when I was much younger.

d42ae257_corbis-42-65416184Source: Pop Sugar

Knowing this doesn’t give me much comfort but every day, I try to improve myself and be calmer. Let things sink in first before making any comments or feedback.

However, this morning, I lost it for a bit.

I misplaced my watch.

angry-03Source: WeKnowYourDreams

This watch is very important to me. My parents gave it to me as my graduation gift. I’ve been wearing it religiously every single day for the past 5 years. And I can sometimes be a creature of routine so I’d keep this watch at the same place almost every day.

Yesterday, I realised I wasn’t wearing my watch when I was in the train. My hand felt lighter when I lifted it up to check for time. Watch was not on my wrist. Then I remembered, “Oh, it must be on the table where I left it. I was a bit in a hurry this morning, must have forgotten to wear it.”

This morning, I couldn’t find my watch on the table. I panicked. I searched for it everywhere. I even tried to retrace my steps on the previous days. Still couldn’t find it. I asked my mother if she’d seen my watch. She said no. I was upset, my voice started to reach for the higher pitch. Then I asked my father, he said no too. Asked my younger brothers, no, as well. I was so upset but then I remembered the advice that I wanted to give myself. So I went back up to my room and perform a 2-rakaat prayer. I was still angry at this point and I made a du’a that Allah punishes the person who took my watch severely.

6991766_orig                                                       Source: UrbanMentalHealthDesign

When I got back downstairs, my father asked if I needed a lift to the train station. I said no, thank you. My little brother also offered me a ride since he’s also going out to work. I shook my head. My mom told my dad to let me walk as she knew I needed to calm down.

As I was walking in the cool breeze, it was raining earlier, I regretted my du’a. I quickly asked for forgiveness from Allah because I had overreacted and had so many bad thoughts running through my head. I felt ashamed because I still need to be reminded by my conscience to be less angry, less quick-tempered, less impulsive. It made me sad.

mentalhealth
Source: AbaforLawStudents

In the train, I quickly googled for the du’a for missing things. I recited the du’a wholeheartedly. Then I saw a friend shared an article on her FB that the younger generation are losing their minds due to everyday stress. Her advice was, read the Quran as it helps to calm the mind. It was 4 stations away from my stop, I opened the Quran app and read a page where I last bookmarked. Alhamdulillah, I felt a lot better after that.

Thinking about what happened earlier, I think the best advice I could give for my younger self and myself today and for the rest of my life is to continue reading the Quran every single day, insha Allah.

al-baqarah153Surah Al-Baqarah verse 153

51f6f05e3f2f018d87ddb397ac7a6c5bSource: Pinterest

I first learned about bell curves when I was in university. One of my professors told me that out of 10 people who scored A in his class, five will have to be ‘downgraded’ to A- so as to fit the bell curve. He was a professor of literature and not statistics. He felt that it was unfair for the students to be ‘graded’ based on the bell curve ‘requirement’. But the university can’t have too many people on one extreme end of the spectrum, especially not in the literature class where everything is debatable and subjective.  Apparently, 10 A was too big a number in a class of 35 students. I was ‘lucky’ because he ‘chose’ me to still be in the “A-list”. But luck shouldn’t determine your grade, nor should some distribution theory.

Today, as I put on my employee hat and studied the KPIs given by my superior, the bell curve horror struck again. As explained by the boss, this was a cascaded down KPI. So my KPI is pretty much similar to everybody in the team and even the boss except that the figures are different.

Being a senior member of the team, my figures are somewhat higher than most. My biggest issue in comprehending the KPI setting is that everyone in the team plays different roles in different projects. So how on earth can we ‘share’ similar KPI. She’s a creative designer while I am a writer. She works on project A and I’m in both projects, A and T. Project A has 6 brochures to be developed, while project T has 15. How can a designer who works on a project to develop six brochures have the KPI of “developing creative content: BASE – 10, STRETCH – 15” and I, a writer who works on two projects with a total number of 21 brochures to work on have similar KPI but a different figure: BASE – 25, STRETCH 30.

I am still scratching my head figuring out how to meet the base. When I asked my superior about this, his answer was, “Well, sometimes you meet your KPI, sometimes you don’t. And we can’t place everyone at the highest rank or the lowest rank. We gotta keep the curve in bell shape.”

Seriously, that did not even answer my question. I think the management need to go for KPI setting training. One obvious fact is that if you own 3 pens, you can’t multiply the number unless you buy more pens or borrow them from your mates. If you are asked to work on 21 brochures, the number won’t grow unless you add more request/project to it. Am I making any sense here? Perhaps, I am confused after all.

It’s all in the mind

Posted: October 9, 2013 in 2cent, random
Tags: , ,

Kelakar baca entry pertama. Aku boleh bayangkan kepoyoan dan semangat menulis masa tu. I wish I’d have that determination every time, yes, every single time. I know that if I were to sit down and really focus on writing, I’d produce something great for myself. It doesn’t necessarily have to be something that others would find interesting or great, but it’d serve my purpose of writing. It’d make me happy. It’d make me smile. Macam tulah yang aku rasa bila baca entry yang pertama tadi.

Beberapa minggu lepas aku ada jugalah merungut pasal kerja. Kerja aku yang ini memang tak mendorong aku jadi kreatif, tak ada channel untuk aku luahkan idea dan pandagan. Pada mulanya aku rasa marah dan juga sedikit kecewa kerana kontrak dan juga janji-janji yang tak ditepati. But yesterday when I was playing with Amjad at home in between my work, I felt extremely grateful. Then it struck me. Bukan semua apa yang kita nak adalah yang terbaik untuk kita. With my current work arrangement I might be earning lesser and unable to be creative at work, but then I get to spend a lot of time around the people I love. I taught Amjad the alphabets yesterday and we drew ultraman, dogs, and stars together. I’m not trying to sound so negative, but probably this is the closest experience of having a kid of my own that I’d ever get in this life. So why am I complaining?

Alhamdulillah, Allah Maha Mengetahui. And may your day would be as blessed as mine, insha Allah.

 

Image

Image borrowed from Chuck Newton’s page

Hunting

Posted: June 29, 2013 in 2cent, random
Tags: , , ,

Yes, it can be very depressing.

When you tell somebody you’re a freelancer, one of the first things that would come to their mind is, “Does s/he make enough money to survive?”

My honest answer at the moment – No. Hence I am looking for a full time job that offers a better prospect in terms of career growth and benefits.

Job-hunting is not easy. It can it be very depressing when you went for an interview and you’re made to believe that you’ve done very well (usually accompanied by the interviewer’s assuring compliments and ‘bewilderment’ over your skills and abilities in answering the questions and presenting yourself) but ended up not getting any call from the interviewer after a week or two. This is a vicious cycle. But I am one tough nut to crack – I will not give up as easily. May Allah reward my effort and bless me with the very best job soon. Aamiin.

p/s: If you need a smart, witty and excellent writer, drop your email address in the comment area. I’d be glad to assist you should we reach an agreement on the cost and approach. 😉 #selfadvertising

Cukup ke?

Posted: September 20, 2012 in 2cent
Tags: , , ,

Ok, member aku share benda ni kat Facebook dan dia komen kata dengan RM1500 kita boleh hidup kalau kita ada kehendak. Aku tak nafikan semua benda pun boleh kalau kita bersungguh dan berkehendak. Tapi betul ke kau sanggup hidup kat KL ni bergaji RM1500 dan tak buat apa2 untuk tambah pendapatan?

Dipinjam dari Syed Hafeez

Aku rasa kalau single, duduk dengan mak bapak bolehlah kot. Tapi kalau dah berkeluarga, nak tanggung keluarga, gaji camni mungkin agak stress jugaklah especially kalau ada benda2 terkejut yang nak pakai duit. But then again, we are all entitled to our own opinions. Pada aku, it’s important for me to provide the best I can for my family…

Dengan itu moh la kita layan ni dulu..one of my favourites, dan semoga bertambah semangat bekerja! 😀